I have noticed a recurring theme running throughout several conversations I have had over the last few years. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this theme, talking with other trusted friends and leaders, and trying to wrap my head around this phenomenon.
The false dichotomy of either having to 100% agree with everything an author or speaker has to say.
Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash
Background: A few years ago, I was herding cats (aka parenting my three young boys) when I received a text from a friend. As I had previously posted about my enjoyment of a popular author’s book, this friend want to inform me about a theological stance this author had recently made public. My friend wanted to ensure that I knew so I could publically disavow (ie. remove prior blog posts, put up a Facebook post) this author and all of her writings. I didn’t. I don’t have to agree 100% with everything any author or speaker writes to still believe that they have valuable knowledge and wisdom to share. I didn’t even realize that for some people, 100% agreement was not only important, but mandatory.
This seems to be a recurring conversation. I have had this conversation so many times that I often feel the need to preface an author recommendation with “I don’t agree with everything s/he says, but…” just to cut it off at the pass.
So here is my full disclosure so I need not keep having this conversation:
I believe that this false dichotomy (false– not true……dichotomy– division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups) is something to delve into. We have become more and more segregated within our culture (politically, socially, etc) and this has leeched into our religious settings as well. This had been on very vivid display over the last 12 months. No longer can people hold varied views on theological issues, but instead we are quick to place people into “right” or “wrong” camps, those that are inside our preconceived boxes and those who are outside the box. Rarely do we ever think we may be the ones in the wrong. That maybe we are the ones with the incorrect or incomplete theology. Now, I believe that we can firmly say, “This is my belief based on my interpretation of Scripture” which allows for others to have another belief without compromising our own, and that this actually stimulates conversation. It is good and true and important. But this instantly demonizing a person who believes differently about an aspect of theology, of tossing the “heretic” label around (and be sure you actually understand what this term means before slapping it on someone’s forehead), of discounting that person’s Christianity because it doesn’t look exactly like I want it to look– I am done with that.
Done with demanding that other people’s spiritual lives mirror my white middle class existence. Done with demanding that other people toe my spiritual line, like I had a right to draw it in the sand to begin with. Done with the “Did you hear about…” and “Can you believe what she…”. Just done.
What am I not done with?
- Reading broadly and widely. One thing I learned in university is that through reading, I can be exposed to thoughts and ideas far beyond my own knowledge and experience. I often say to my high school students, “Read authors you know you will disagree with”. There is nothing challenging about reading something that affirms what you already know- that is a waste of time. Read books that challenge you and make you think hard. That leads directly to–
- Be a critical thinker. Many people seem to believe that to read a book, or to enjoy and learn from a book, means that you 100% agree with all ideas within said book. This is poppycock. I have never read a book and agreed 100% with any author. I don’t agree 100% about everything with anyone, even my husband. Part of the reading process is taking in new knowledge and weighing it against what you already know. You can then remain unchanged, you can modify your ideas, or your ideas can be transformed. This is the process of learning. You, however, are in charge of that process. It is not an existential process that happens without your approval or participation. Think critically about everything that passes through your brain. It will make you a better person.
- Being unified with people who I disagree with, even on important matters. When it comes down to it, there are core doctrines that are non-negotiable. Beth Moore described these as the “spine issues”- those things that keep the body of Christ erect. These include the divinity of Christ, the birth, death, and resurrection of Christ, etc. There are a whole bunch of “rib issues” as well, those things that give structure to the body of Christ, but which are often debatable. The issue is that many people have made some of those rib issues into spine issues. When that happens, we draw battle lines over disagreements and we are quick to condemn those who think differently. We are called to more. We are called to unity, not conformity, within the body of Christ. That means that there is room for the Pentecostals, the Baptists, the Mennonites, the (fill-in-the-blank-with-preferred-denomination) here. We will think differently about some things, but as a wise mentor once told me, “We agree on way more than we disagree on. We just have a tendency to forget that.”
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
So this false dichotomy of either having to 100% agree with everything or nothing an author or speaker has to say– let’s just say no to that line of thinking. Let’s hold each other to be critical thinkers who are capable of nuanced thinking and conversations. Let’s purpose to be better together.
The Grace Narrative 