I have always found this Holy Saturday, the one that exists between the overwhelming grief of Good Friday and the all-encompassing celebration of Easter Sunday, is a paradox. The sadness of what we remembered yesterday-Jesus’ betrayal, beating, and horrific death on the cross- has not yet subsided. The joy that we know tomorrow holds is present, but not fully realized. So this is the day where the grief and the joy are held in tension. I am highly aware that anguish and joy are co-conspirators in this amazing reality that we remember year after year. In the midst of the darkness, there is light. We can actually see the light more clearly because of the darkness.
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This tension of waiting, of experiencing anguish and joy simultaneously, has characterized the last number of weeks and it will continue for the foreseeable future. The anguish of having our whole lives interrupted, of being cut off from friends and family, and of having our whole lives shrunk down, co-exists with the joy of more time with immediate family, time for connections with faraway family and friends, and gratitude for the technology that is enabling our communication. The tension, however, remains and I think this is a good thing.
As I read in Luke this morning, about the women who remained with Jesus until the very end, I noticed something. Luke 23:56 says, “Then [the women] returned and prepared spices and perfumes. And on the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment.” The tension between anguish and joy exists in this verse.
The Anguish— although the women had heard Jesus’ claim that he would die but be raised from the dead, they could not deny the reality that they had seen Jesus die on that cross. Jewish custom dictated their next moves. They wanted to honour their beloved, so they did what they could- they prepared the spices and perfumes to anoint Jesus’ body. It was incomplete, it was not what they had hoped that they would do, but they did what they could.
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They returned and prepared— I think many of us are in this same boat right now. We are doing what we can. We returned home and prepared. We are schooling and entertaining our children. We are working jobs from home. We are maybe scrimping and saving because we have lost our jobs. We are working hard to maintain communication and sanity with others. We are doing the best that we can. Be gracious with yourself– do what you can. And let the rest go.
The Joy— after they had done what they could, the women rested. They realized that they needed to experience their grief, and they gave themselves time and space to do so. I don’t know what this looked like, but I can imagine the women together, supporting each other through the sorrow of mourning, and experiencing the joy of community and like-mindedness. They found joy and comfort in each other.
They rested— I’m a Type A, Enneagram 1, Extrovert who rarely slows down. There is too much to do and too many things in the world that need to be put to rights. The admonition to rest, to take a step back from the hustle, has been a welcome switch, but still a difficult one for me. I am horrible at resting, and in my drive to keep moving and doing, I can forfeit those relationships that are the most important to me. Maybe you are like this too. This Holy Saturday I want to take the time to rest, to connect with my boys, to find joy and comfort in each other in the midst of the sadness of both this Holy weekend and the current world reality.
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As Ben and I talked this morning about the many changes that have happened over the past weeks, we discussed things that feel weird and awkward. One we have struggled with the most is online video communication. It still feels bizarre, even though I have to spend hours a day doing it. This type of communication is a shadow of what was and what will be. Ben wisely commented that it’s likely best if this connection remains feeling awkward. If we don’t get too comfortable with the poor imitation of the ideal. If we can still retain our desire for in-person community and conversation. If we can allow ourselves to remain in the tension of what is and what we know will one day be again.
I want to leave you with this encouragement:
“Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord.” Psalm 31:24
May you have a wonderful Holy Saturday, leaning into the tension, and remembering that Sunday is coming.
The Grace Narrative 